(Hello everyone, this is Evans speaking. Today, we're introducing a new guest writer to the blog. This guest writer is Jared Collins, and he is going to inform you of some of the strangest laws around the world. Enjoy.)
Jared Collins here, and welcome, to the first of many articles that I will do on this blog. (NOTE: Take that out.That is not a guarantee. -Evans) Yes, and since I will be a regular on this blog, I figured that I'll do something a bit different from Evans, and differ from the basic article format. Not only am I going to write about these law from around the world, I'm going to write my personal thoughts on them. So, here it is folks, the strangest laws of all time.
In Devon, Texas, it's illegal to make furniture while nude.
Okay, I suppose this one could make sense, if you think about it. I mean, imagine making furniture, naked. Take a minute to think about all of the horrible horrible things that could go wrong with that. Go ahead, I'll wait. With all of the horrible injuries that you could sustain, this is essentially a retard protection law.
In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
At first glance, this is a pretty basic law. I mean, if you're in school, or in your respective places to pray to your probably non existent God, you wouldn't want to see two badgers going at it. (NOTE: Leave the badgers boning, that will draw views. However, take out the religious comment. We don't need Catho-trolls on our asses. -Evans) But then I started to think about it. How would you punish the animals for this? Are animals also responsible to uphold the law? would you throw them in what is sure to be the cutest prison of all time?
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| Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. |
In Alaska, it is illegal for a kangaroo to be in a barbershop at any time.
WHAT?!?! Seriously? Shit. Shit. SHIT. I need to leave the country. Go on the run. I knew trying to get Roozles a haircut would come back to haunt me, and now it has. Gotta find a place to hide, gotta run, gotta get out of here. Maybe......
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| Roozles, my Alaskan kangaroo. |
In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
NOPE. NOPE, never mind. Indonesia, off my list you go. How did this law start? All the members of the government come together and go, "Y'know what's the one law that we could make to piss off every male in the country at the same time. No masturbating, you say? Brilliant. Put it on the list right after 'no penises allowed.'" Also, this law raises a question for me. Which "head" do they plan to decapitate?
It is illegal to get internet access in Burma.
Hm. No Burma either. I mean, I want to leave, but on the other hand, this blog NEEDS me. (NOTE: This blog doesn't need you. -Evans) This law was made to, what, restrict internet porn? Why, thats just as dastardly as the Indonesian law. Alright then, off to somewhere in Britain. Tea and scones, anyone?
The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen
Sonofabitch. Alright, so, this is out. I mean, the King can have the head, but dammit, I LOVE MY WHALE TAIL SOUP. Ha. Whale tail. Anyways, I purposely chose not to do research into the context or history of this law, so that I can make up my own scenario as how it came to be. I imagine a whale being beached, and both the king and the queen sprinting towards it, fighting over parts of the carcass, until this law was put into place. That, or the king was subtly hinting towards the queen's love for thongs.
In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
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| FOR LIBERTY!!! |
In Japan, there is no age of consent.
Really? Hmmmmm..... (OKAY OKAY OKAY YOU CAN STAY WITH ME. JUST, DEAR GOD, NEVER GO TO JAPAN. EVER. -Evans) Ah. It appears my home search has come to an end at last, and just in time, too, because I'm tired of writing. See you all next time, and for now, PARTY AT EVANS' PLACE!!! WOOOOOOO!!! (Oh dear God..... -Who the fuck do you think.)
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